Tips & Observations on Marriage

The whole “marriage” thing has been on my mind lately.  No, there is no special “someone” (yet). Nonetheless, I’ve been thinking about it—a lot.  These are some of my observations.  Most of these are from a man’s perspective (seeing as I am indeed a man), but most of them have across the gender divide application.

Marriage Tips

• Always side with your wife. Even if you don’t agree with her position all the way.  When there is more than just the two of you, stand up for her. Its much better to go down a loyal advocate, than to survive as a wishy washy husband. Please your wife before you please others.
• Argue about the “now”.  Don’t bring up arguments that were long dead and buried.  It doesn’t matter what was done 15 years ago. Nothing can be done about 15 years ago.  You can, however, change the present.
• Your wife comes first. Before kids. Before friends. Before work. Before the rest of your family.  God commands it.
• Have your own hobbies. It’s okay do things without your wife on occasion.
• Let your wife have her own hobbies. It’s okay for her to do things without you on occasion.
• Share hobbies. It’s okay to do things together too (I should say, it’s essential).
• Stand up to your family if they bash/harass/demean/insult your wife.  She is off limits and they should know it.
• Stand up to her family if they bash/harass/demean/insult your wife.  She is off limits, even to them.
• Stand up to her family if they bash/harass/demean/insult you, but don’t burn bridges. You don’t want to be public enemy #1 at family gatherings, but you also don’t want to be a floor mat. They are still her family.
• Have hugs and kisses that have no intention of leading to sex. This is kind of a big one.
• Let her share her feelings with you. That’s kind of your job. If you love her, you’ll listen. Even if you think they are “silly”.
• Share your feelings with her. Keeping them bottled up does nobody any good.
• Do things for your wife when you get home from work. You may have been working all day, but so has she taking care of your “kingdom”. She’s just as exhausted as you.
• She works at home so you can work outside the house. Don’t take that for granted.
• You work outside the house so she can work at home. Not sure where I’m going with this.
• Making enemies of her siblings is worse than making enemies of her parents.  Siblings have no qualms doing things parents are old enough to know not to do.
• Always open the door for her.  Even after decades of marriage, treat her like a princess.
• Manners are good. If you say “thank you”, “please”, and “I’m sorry” to one person in the world make sure its your wife.
• Care for your wife enough to beat the living crap out of anyone who insults her honor—Just don’t actually do it unless it’s physically defending her from danger. Jail makes it difficult to foster a relationship.
• Do not seek to win an argument.  Rather, seek a compromise.
• Be willing to admit you’re wrong. There is nothing wrong with being wrong.
• There is nothing wrong rewarding yourselves after finding a compromise.  Make up ice cream/movie/game/sex is acceptable.
• Do spontaneous random things for her that take a lot of effort or money on occasion. Don’t do it too often though or it’ll kill the novelty.
• A good wife desires you, not your money.  If a woman cares more about your money than you, chances are she should marry the treasury department instead.
• Your wife depends on you for your money.  Don’t mistake her need and your responsibility with her desire.  Food doesn’t grow on trees…well…I mean…
• Be supportive. Her goals are just as important as yours (or even more so).
• Tell her you love her. Never go one day without telling her you love her; even if you’re upset with her.
• Never withhold an “I love you” to demonstrate your anger.