First Speech – Done!

ByMatthew Edmund Reading Time: 2 minutes

Tonight I had my first speech in speech class. It was 3 minutes long. TWO AND A HALF HOURS OF ~3 minute speeches is grueling! Talk about mind numbing. Don’t get me wrong. There were plenty of good ones. I enjoyed listening to most of them…but short speech after short speech was just…ugh.

My first week of classes seems to be coming along pretty decently. Lots of work, but I’m up for the challenge. Feels good to be moving somewhere.

Strangely, I thought getting involved neck deep in classes would make me feel better. It has to some degree but I find myself more and more depressed as this week goes on. Feeling lonely to be honest… missing something.

On an unrelated note I’ve come to a greater appreciation of God and His mercy and compassion. A lot of overwhelming things I’ve had to deal with. A lot of anxiety. A lot of struggles. In comparison to the world’s solutions I’m finding solace in the truth that God can heal me…and wants to heal me…and that I can just rest in His arms. I don’t know how people can get by without Him. Call it a crutch. I’m happy to be “paralyzed”.

I think I’m going to go fall asleep in His arms. Its really the only way I’m coping with this emptiness.

Editorial Note: There are a lot of hard posts which came before this which I’ve since hidden because they are too raw, too personal. And honestly, the context of this would make the achievement all the greater. Matthew in 2010 was not a public speaker. He is not the man I am today. The fear of Matthew in 2010 is what drove Matthew to become the man I am today.

Liked what you read? Subscribe for free.

Never miss out — Be notified of my latest articles!

Creator

Matthew Edmund is a Christian writer, small-business owner, and civic participant writing on faith, culture, and public responsibility. He holds a Bachelor’s degree in Communication and Journalism from Oakland University and has been active in local politics and abortion abolition. He is the owner of FYRE.IS.

Similar Posts

  • Yahweh Will Accomplish What Concerns Me

    ByMatthew Edmund Reading Time: 4 minutes

    The upside, and a true blessing in all of this, is that it’s operable, with a really high success rate. The downside is that it’s a major invasive surgery that involves removing a tumor on or near nerves and the brain responsible for vital functions. The risk of complications is high enough to make me uncomfortable. While the risk of death is “less than 1 percent”, actually being on the receiving end of that, feels really high. Especially, when, for five years, you’re reminded by the now dormant name of a friend on your friend’s list who died on an operating table due to complications.

  • An Old Testament Defense Against Polygamy

    ByMatthew Edmund Reading Time: 19 minutes

    The New Testament writers don’t introduce this as new — they reiterate what marriage was designed for from the beginning: a picture of Christ’s singular, covenantal love for His Church (Eph. 5:22-33), as this article will show. Polygamy doesn’t just violate a command. It corrupts that picture.

    This argument is essential for understanding and refuting the heresy of so-called “Christian” polygamists and polygynists who believe they are introducing a legitimate, alternate morality that is biblically defensible. It isn’t. It turns the theology of marriage on its head.

  • Life worth living

    ByMatthew Edmund Reading Time: 2 minutes

    For all of my love of language, one thing I struggle to get behind is the idea of “living like there is no tomorrow” or “live like you only have X amount of time to live.” I appreciate the sentiment of not wasting time — but when I take the idea to its logical conclusion,…

  • Working With My Hands: A Man Who Is Autistic

    ByMatthew Edmund Reading Time: 3 minutes

    The neurodivergent community has created a sub-culture which praises, celebrates, and honors a lack of development and immaturity. Spend any amount of time in an active neurodivergent group and you’ll see varied discussions about someone’s “current hyperfixation” or listing of disabilities like scouting merit badges. Their identity has become the disability they argue isn’t a disability.

  • Autistic Identity

    ByMatthew Edmund Reading Time: 3 minutes

    Over the last year, I “self-identified” as autistic because, well, truth be told, autism explained my life history perfectly. All of the “just” excuses became neatly explained behind autism. In spite of this, and at great personal expense, I pushed for a formal diagnosis because I needed to know for sure.

  • Neurodivergent rejecting neurodiversity worldview

    ByMatthew Edmund Reading Time: 2 minutes

    Accepting that you are “neurodivergent” does not mean accepting the ideology of “neurodiversity.” One is a descriptive label. The other is a worldview.

    Used precisely, neurodivergent describes divergence from the most statistically typical neurological profile. It is a categorization — it says nothing about power, justice, or how human beings ought to relate to one another.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *